Father’s Responsibilities in Child Upbringing

Islam views the father as a shepherd, leader, and guardian of his family, holding a direct spiritual and practical responsibility for his children’s well-being.

The prophetic hadith recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim states: “The man is a guardian of his family, and is responsible for his subjects.”

Core Responsibilities of a Father in Islam

1. Financial Provision (Nafaqah)

• Lawful sustenance: The father must provide lawful (halal) food, clothing, shelter, and medical care for his children according to his means.

• Maternal support: He is also responsible for financially supporting the mother (his wife or ex-wife during the nursing and custody period) as outlined in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:233).

• Choosing a good name: Right after birth (or around the seventh day), the father is tasked with giving the child a respectable, positive name.

• Continued duty: This financial obligation does not end if the parents divorce or live apart.

2. Spiritual and Religious Guidance

• Teaching the faith: Fathers must teach their children the fundamentals of Islamic belief (Tawheed or the oneness of Allah, the pillars of faith, and the prophets).

• Establishing prayer (Salah): The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) instructed parents to command their children to pray at seven years old and gently discipline or enforce it by ten years old.

• Worship modelling: Fathers are encouraged to pray where their children can see them and take them to the mosque to normalize regular worship.

3. Moral Upbringing and Character (Tarbiyah)

• Good manners: Instilling honesty, kindness, respect, and integrity is a primary duty, not a secondary option.

• Role modelling: Children naturally imitate what they observe. A father must model upright behaviour, ethical speech, and devotion to Islam in his daily life.

• Avoiding neglect: Abandoning a child’s moral or physical care is considered a serious sin and a breach of divine trust.

4. Emotional Presence and Affection

• Active involvement: A father’s role extends far beyond writing a check; he must offer emotional support, spend quality time, and listen to his children.

• Showing tenderness: The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) modelled warmth by addressing children gently (such as calling them ya bunayya or “O my little son”).

• Physical safety and protection: He acts as a shield for his family’s physical, psychological, and moral safety.

• Securing an education: Providing a proper education—both religious and worldly—so the child can grow up to be a self-sustaining and beneficial member of society.

As far as Islamic Shari`ah is concerned, the role of the Muslim father/husband goes beyond providing financial support to his family. It is his role to provide his family with a loving and peaceful atmosphere and lead his family toward loving Allah, our Creator and enjoying a successful, happy, and righteous life. He is responsible for upbringing his children and teaching them through his example how to be good and successful people.

This is what we can infer directly from the Qur’an and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah says, ‘O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from torments of Hell, whose fuel is humankind and stones (At-Tahrim 66: 6).

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No parent can give their children a better gift than training them in good manners.” He also said, “Every one of you is like a shepherd responsible for those under his or her care; a man is a shepherd and responsible for the welfare of his family; a woman is a shepherd responsible for her household.”

Based on similar evidences, scholars have listed the following main duties of parenthood:

To provide a peaceful and loving environment at home that is conducive to the children’s overall spiritual and moral development;

To impart sound religious and moral values through practical examples by leading an exemplary life of love, mercy, and compassion.

To instil in them love of Allah, our Fashioner and His Messenger, our beloved Prophet (SAW) and inculcate consciousness of Allah (SWT) and accountability before Him.

To implant in them seeds of social consciousness and compassion.

The dictum a child learns what he or she practices at home is the ideal Islamic approach to raising responsible children.

Finally, let us cite an incident in the life of the great Caliph `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him). A man came to complain to `Umar about his son’s misbehaviour toward him. Upon inquiring into the causes, `Umar found out that as a father, the man had never taught his son any religious or moral values: `Umar said, “Go, you have no right to complain about your son’s misbehaviour!” `Umar meant to say that, since as a father the man had failed in his duties toward his son, he cannot expect anything better from him. Let us, therefore, take parenting seriously and ensure that we raise a community of God-conscious Muslims who care for their parents and others, amen!