Duties of wife to her husband

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed, his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allah says: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]

Al-Jassas said: Allah tells us in this verse that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage. These rights include:

(a) The obligation of obedience

Allah, The Most High has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allah (SWT) says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” [Al-Nisa 4:34]

Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/492)

(b) Making herself available to her husband

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse , she has done something haram and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid Shari’a excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the Angels will curse her until morning.’” (Al-Bukhari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

(c) Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Al-Bukhari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas said: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hajjat al-Wada’) with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are (as) prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.” (Al-Tirmidhi, 1163, Ibn Majah, 1851)

Jabir said: [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” (Muslim, 1218)

(d) Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission

Another of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

(e) Discipline

The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allah, our Creator has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them (lightly and if there is any benefit in that), when they do not obey.

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her (lightly). These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is tahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one’s wife includes the ayahs: “As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).” [Al-Nisa 4:34]

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.” [Al-Tahrim 66:6]

Ibn Kathir said: Qatadah said: “You should command them to obey Allah (SWT), and forbid them to disobey Allah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.

“The duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 4/392)

(f) The wife serving her husband

There is a great deal of evidence (dalil) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (Al-Fatawa Al-Kubra, 4/561)

(g) Submitting herself to him

Once the conditions of the marriage contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically). This is because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

(h)The wife should treat her husband in a good manner

Allah, The Most High says: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable.” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]

Al-Qurtubi said: “It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them.

Ibn Zayd said: “You should fear Allah concerning them just as they should fear Allah concerning you. The meanings are similar, and the ayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.” (Tafsir al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124).