By Femi Oyelola
International Men’s Day, celebrated annually on November 19th, is a global occasion to recognize and celebrate the positive contributions of men to society, family, and community.
It’s a day to promote positive role models and encourage men to take action to improve their well-being and the well-being of others.
It is also set aside as a global awareness day for many issues that men face, such as abuse, homelessness, suicide, and violence, celebrated annually on November 19.
The theme of the 2024 celebration, “Positive Male Role Models.” can’t come at a better time for the men in Nigeria than now, considering the problems bedeviling the men in the country, leading to many becoming negative role models in society.
The six pillars of the IMD according to Pastor Yakubu Yusuf of House of Purpose Ministry, Kaduna are to promote positive male role models, acknowledge the positive impact men have on society,
and focus on men’s health and well-being. Others are to highlight discrimination faced by men, Promote gender equality, and Work towards creating a safer and better world for all.
He, however, expressed dismay that it is very obvious that the six pillars are lacking in the life of the men in the country, hence the reason for the low-key celebration of the Day.
The Clergy, however, encourages men to teach the boys in their lives the values, character, and responsibilities of being a man as enshrined in the Bible because as men, they will continue to be the heads of the family.
However, many respondents to the Weekend Peoples Daily questions on this subject matter opined that they are not aware if any day is set aside for celebrating the men.
Mercy Emmanuel, a pump attendant at a filing station was surprised to hear about the IMD this for the first time. According to her, she has been married to her husband for more than three years but never celebrated him.
She, however, promised to turn a new leaf and have the 29th of November in her memory to celebrate her loving husband.
However, the case of Hajiya Maimuna, a trader at Kawo marker, is different. Even though she is aware of the Day, the hardships, and other challenges bedeviling the country made her not celebrate her husband and other men around her in 2024.
While reacting to this developments, the Deputy Executive Africa Network for Environment and Economic Justice, ANEEJ, Leo Atakpu, opined that men are going through a whole lot in Nigeria today, and the economic pressure and the downturn of the economy weigh heavily on the men or the male gender.
He added that it is good that even society recognizes this fact, but, more importantly, that wives and children understand what their fathers are going through during this period.
According to him, it is always good that wives, mothers, and children show understanding to their fathers this time around.
“It is also important that the folks should also take the bull by the horns; they should know that they cannot kill themselves for the sake of their loved ones because when they die, the same loved ones will suffer whatever consequences come after.
“It is also necessary for all men to do everything in their power to ensure that their wives are empowered because once the wife is empowered, and she’s providing the required support to the man, then it will be easier to pull through the current situation men are facing today.
“Also, men must work out new ways, new measures, of surviving the situation. There are certain decisions that you have taken in the past, and there are certain ways that resources are channeled in the past that you now need to rechannel them.
“You need to spend your time productivity, unnecessary expenses should be discarded from your budget, and only essentials should be the priority particularly, health, food, rent, and education for the children. Every other thing should take the back seat.
“Then men should take care of their health. They should ensure regular checkups. If they have not been doing that, then they should start doing it from now forward.
“Because, high blood pressure, diabetes, and such cardiovascular diseases are on the upward swing right now, it is important that men give priority attention to their health so that they will be alive for their loved ones and also be alive to contribute their quota to the development of this country,” he said.
There is no doubt that nature handed both men and women their unique social or family responsibilities. The men, as the head of the family, have carried out their naturally assigned role both in joy and in pain. Under the rain and in the sun men have been constantly toiling to meet family obligations.
The burden on most men is enormous to the extent that they are overwhelmed. Still, they patiently carry on. Some who could not afford to live up to their responsibilities think through the night and weep in the silence of overburdened hearts, and with all these, they are still not celebrated in society, as witnessed in the 2024 IMD.
Also to this state of affairs, the Acting Executive Director of Legal Awareness for Nigeria Women ( LAWN), Mrs Hanatu Ahuwan, said the 2024 International Men’s Day was celebrated unnoticed in many parts of Nigeria because of the various challenges facing the men in the country.
He stressed that even without the challenges bedeviling men at this time, Men’s Day isn’t usually celebrated like Women’s Day.
She observed that Women make a lot more noise about their day and celebrate themselves even if no one celebrated them than men do about their day.
Also, the hard times are not only felt by men alone as we equally have female-headed households, while acknowledging that the burden for most households is shared by the husbands and wives.
“Nevertheless, I call on all women to, on this special Men’s Day, appreciate the men in their lives – husbands, fathers, brothers, etc – who have impacted their lives in one way or the other.
“There’s no better time to be a man. Whether yesterday, today, or tomorrow, a man should always be prepared to be on duty as the man over his family. You don’t choose when to be in the world.
“As God has made you to be here at this time, you have to find a way to survive. Who says it won’t get worse tomorrow?
“You must be a person of faith, trusting God to help you, grant you wisdom and direction, and also open doors. You cannot depend only on a salary as many Nigerians used to believe but have to engage in multiple streams of income.
“A man has to work with all the members of his household to tackle their issues and make necessary adjustments where necessary.
“There is no need for pretense and maintaining a fake lifestyle. Take public transport if necessary; cut down on frivolous spending; be creative with meal plans etc.
“Yes, you can’t fail to notice that a lot of young people are dying but people of all ages die every day.
“There are so many reasons for this, not necessarily only due to the current hardship. Some due to laziness and their eagerness to get rich quick, which backfires; some genuinely because they can’t make ends meet; some due to depression.
“Meanwhile there are all kinds of ailments flying around which do not care about age. Men need to take care of themselves, mentally and health-wise.
“Men should also be encouraged to speak up about the issues they’re struggling with. They should also be encouraged to have support groups to encourage one another.
“We also need to have more supportive systems for men from their families. Today is one of those days to appreciate the men and let them know we appreciate all they are doing to keep things going.”
A Kaduna-based journalist, Mr. Shola Ojo, corroborated this by saying the low celebration of the International Day of Men is basically due to poor awareness of the day. Governments and organizations give more credence to celebrating the International Day of Women and Children to Men.
So, as far as I’m concerned, it is not really about any serious challenges.
Mr Ojo said there is no better time to be a man than being born a man. He explained that men and women alike don’t choose their sex, but their Maker created them, male and female.
“No need to worry or compete with one another. Just don’t stay idle. So, it is all about how men perceive life. Life itself is beautiful.
“A situation whereby little money cannot help people to live a decent life is worrisome. Again, the get-rich-quick mentality of people these days is disturbing. Many of them don’t want to build wealth over time,” he concluded.
Executive Director of Hope for Children Initiative, Hajiya Hadiza Umar, on her part said economic hardship has had its toll on both men and women.
She, however, stressed that social norms and the highly patriarchal nature of Nigerian society has positioned men at the receiving end of the economic situation harder than women.
Her words: “Nigerian men have been groomed to believe they are the providers and need to thrive at all costs to cater for their families, and in recent times, most young men refuse the option of being poor or middle class, believing they must “blow” (make it in life).
“This notion has put so much stress and risks to the health and well-being of men (young and old) that it may not be surprising if, as claimed, it has shortened their life span.
“There is a need to shift the norm and water down the patriarchy in Nigeria to usher in gender equality, companionship, and leveraging on one another between men and women for the better good of all.”
